Dorrance Publishing Co., Inc.
Dear Mr. Devine,
I received your letter in today’s mail and I find I owe you an immediate apology. I don’t know where my mind was when we talked a few weeks ago, about the publication of my book, Moon Over Donamorgh. It’s possible I was severely hung-over. I cannot think of any other reason for me to forget such a momentous conversation.
I am so sorry to have caused you distress as you wait week after week for me to decide whether or not to publish with your company. I am grateful that you are willing to overlook my careless lack of response. I am especially relieved to see that you offer payment option plans, as otherwise it will be very difficult for me to pay you for this book you worked so hard to create.
I’m sure you understand.
Please put your mind at ease regarding my decision. I would not allow you to publish my book if you were the only publishing company left on the planet. It is my sincerest wish that your scamming… er… publishing… business fails spectacularly, as writer after writer gives your letter the attention it deserves.
You know – the person who wrote the book